Thursday, May 18, 2017

The Battle's Long (a poem about FAT!) by Theresa Arnold

Me fight fat
Ten pounds stat!
Battle’s tough
Daily rough!
Food is hell
Tempting smell
Spirit strife
Healthy life
Morning wins
Evening sins
Stomach’s poke’n
Zippers broken
Nighttime chunk
Sleeping hunk
Morning comes
Workout runs
Pray for HELP
Hear my yelp!
Make me strong
Fat is wrong
Hurts my heart
Other parts
Spirit FIGHT
Lard, take flight!
Ten pounds…Drop
Constant prayer
If I dare
Make me strong
Battle’s LONG!!
As I have somehow managed to age over the years, I have discovered that it truly IS harder to lose belly fat when we get older. That sure is pitiful, isn't it? Must we deplete our daily intake of calories just so our britches will fit better and we won't have wrinkles and bumps on our legs? I refuse to get on crack just to lose weight. Ain't gonna do it!! I refuse to drink my meals too. Surely, there is a way to eat normal food and keep off weight. I was reading in Galatians 5 about the fruit of the spirit today. One of the fruits is SELF CONTROL!! That fruit must have fallen off the tree and rolled down the hill from me a few years ago. I guess I will need to walk on down the hill and pick that sucker up and eat it!!
Later Tators!

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Tulips de' Stink...a poem as promised

Tulips de’ Stink
By Theresa Arnold
Six white tulips
Float in a vase
Their beauty and charm
Are delectable
But what is that stench?
My nose wrinkles up
I cannot escape
It’s detestable!
I lift up my arms
And smell my own pits
It’s not me, oh good
I sniff harder
I turn my head left
My upper lip raised
And ask “Is that you?”
To my daughter.
She says, “It’s not me,
I showered this morn.
How dare you accuse me
We looked at the flowers
I held in my hand
“Oh no, couldn’t be,
There’s NO way!”
I lowered my head
Took air in my lungs
My tulips
TOO pretty to stink
I jerked back my head
And coughed 1-2-3
“Aroma de’ armpit”
I think.
Where in the HECK
Did these flowers acquire
The smell of a
Road worker’s Feet?
My Goodness, they stunk
But beauty is stronger
Than odor…also,
They were cheap!
So I bought the flowers
And I took them home
And emptied a can
Of Febreze
The very next day
The smell lingered on
Like some type of
Rancid disease.
“But beauty is stronger”
Again I did argue
This smell comes from God
Up above
I’ll NEVER throw out
My “tulips de’ stink”
Because everything
Deserves LOVE!!
I decided to post the poem....because I care:)
Have a GREAT stinky Spring!

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Springtime and Cool Names

I walked out of the building that I work in today at lunch and thought...."It's going to be a long summer". The first day of spring was yesterday and the temperature is already pushing 90 degrees on the thermometer. Winter was short, spring was shorter.

Short winter+shorter spring=LONG Summer!!

Mathematically speaking of course.

Two doves almost flew into my head as I walked to my car to take a break. I almost stepped on a crawling caterpillar on the side walk, and the baby bunnies were taking over the front yard in the morning when I let the dogs out to pee. The coyotes were close to the house and it sounded like a million laughing girls were ready to run from the trees, surround us, and eat us alive.....they were CLOSE y'all! I have major boob sweat too early in the day and year for my liking and I looked at portable fans the other day to place strategically in my house as I basically do EVERYTHING. I need one in the bathroom by the toilet, one by the bathroom sink while I brush my teeth, one in the dressing area when I do my hair, one by the sink in the kitchen as I do the dishes, one in the laundry room while I pretend to fold the clothes, 3 upstairs in my workout/art/music room (treadmill/drawing board/workout mirror), one going up the stairs because the heat hits me in the face half way up the stairs, living room is OK as my husband keeps the temperature in there about 65 degrees, one on my side of the bed while I sleep, one by the ironing board as I iron.....I think that is it. How many is that? Let me count......10. I counted 10 fans. I like air. What can I say? I LOVE air!! Can't live without it. I like the kind of air that blows around, not the kind that sits still and does nothing. Kind of like life and living. Do you like life to sit still or move? I still like life to move around. I'm not old enough yet to enjoy a good SIT! Not yet!!! I'm partial to the saying, "I'll have enough time to sleep when I'm dead" from that classic movie "Roadhouse" starring Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott.

Short post today. I tried to pull up my tulip poem, but the net was dead so I could not. I do not like to depend on the internet for memory and recall!! Drives me NUTS!

The title of this post is called "Springtime and Cool Names". I have quite a list of cool names that I have collected throughout the years. I was telling a few to a young man that I work with. He LOVED them! I'll give y'all one of them as I may write a book about the extraordinary unusual TRUE names I have encountered in my lifetime thus far:

Jr. Godi (pronounced Joon-yer Goat-eye).

Say it outloud....Junior Godi!!

Real of my husband's relatives....likes to eat sticks of butter.....(who doesn't?)


Friday, February 17, 2017

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Armpits and Tulips

I started drawing pictures for my poetry book in mid December. It has been two months and I am going strong. I draw EVERY day. I wake up before every country animal in our forest does to begin a very long day. Today, I was working on a drawing of some tulips in a clear glass vase. The problem is, I don't have a poem to go with this now have to write a poem to go along with the picture that I drew. These flowers are not real. I bought them at TJ MAX. My husband does NOT like TJ MAX (he hates it) because he says that everything there smells like armpits and feet. This store is a place that you can buy name brand goods for next to nothing in price! Me and my youngest daughter were shopping and I saw these beautiful artificial tulips in a small glass container with the fake water in the bottom of it. The tulips were white and looked REAL. I picked up the flowers that were a steal for $7.99 because of how real they looked. I am an artificial flower super snob. The flowers have to look authentic when I pay nothing for them, none of that cheesy cheap stuff for me. Anyway, we were standing in line with armfuls of cheap stuff and all of a sudden I started smelling armpit stink. "What the HECK?" I thought it was me, so I smelled my pits, and then I asked my daughter if she smelled it and she said she did. I asked her to check her pits as well. It wasn't her. THEN.......I smelled the lovely, cheap priced expensive looking tulips and sure enough............THEY SMELLED LIKE ARMPITS! DANG if my husband wasn't right again!!

I bought them!

I sprayed some Febreeze on them and they still stink.

How did these flowers get armpit stink on them???? Was someone unloading them from the delivery truck and just tucked them under their arms when they carried them in the store?

Anyway, they make for a good model for drawing. I wonder if nude models smell like armpits too?